The last line in most traditional wedding vows is the phrase
shown in the title.
It’s an optimistic phrase, since not many marriages last until
one of the partners dies. Over the last couple of years both the marriage rate and the divorce rate have been declining in the United
States. As of 2009, the average length of a first marriage in the U.S. was
eight years. The average age men were at when they went through their first
divorce was 32, for women this was 30. The average length of a second marriage
was about 10 years.
Divorce
rates vary by state, of course.
Political
affiliation has some bearing on the divorce rate, since 9 of the 10 states with
the highest divorce rate are “red” states. However, there is an even split
between “red” and “blue” when it comes to the lowest divorce rate, and Maine is
on the top of the list, with a divorce rate of only 4.8%.
https://www.usnews.com/news/best-states/articles/states-with-the-highest-divorce-rates
As we all get older, it become more likely that death causes
the end of the marriage. Both my parents and my in-laws managed to make it to
48 years, but there weren’t any more anniversaries after that.
The longer we stay married, the more we start to resemble our
partners, and our views on a variety of topics tend to be similar. Another fact
that I have noticed is that it is not at all unusual for a partner to die a
short time after the death of their partner, often within a year. There have even
been cases where they have died of natural causes on the same day.
You won’t be able to find any statistics on this, but I would
call it “death by broken heart”, and can list one of my relatives as an example
of this.
My uncle Bernard (who we called Bud), was born on November
3, 1928. He was delivered by a midwife in the farm of a relative, and he was
the youngest of the six children of Martin and Amelia Stenson.
When Bud was 27 years old, he met Lois Pribnow, who lived on a
nearby farm They met at the Prom Ballroom in St. Paul, and started dating soon
afterward. In 1957, they eloped, and got married at the Brown Church in the
Vale in Iowa. After their marriage, they rented for a few years, and bought
their first (and only house) in St. Paul in 1961, where they lived for the next
40 years.
Soon after that, Bud started to have health problems. He suffered his first heart attack in 1961, when he was only 33 years old. By 1972, he had 4 more. Eventually, he had open heart surgery and five bypasses. In 1993, he had his second pacemaker put in. Through it all, the love and support of his beloved “Loie” help him get through the hard times.
Due to his various health issues, Bud never really had a long-term
permanent job, but made money from his natural talent for remodeling and fixing
things. Lois, on the other hand, worked for many years at the Burlington
Northern railroad in downtown St. Paul. Because she did not have a license, he would
drive her to work every day, and pick her up at the end of her shift. At some
point in time, she thought it would be prudent for her to get her license in
the event that Bud had more issues with her heart.
In March of 2001, Lois died from rheumatoid arthritis. She was
68 years old. Roughly a year later, Bud jointed his beloved Lois in heaven.
Medically speaking, it would be safe to say that Bud died from heart failure, and that’s certainly true. However, it would be far more accurate to say that he died of a broken heart.
They were fortunate to celebrate
more than 40 years together – but nothing lasts forever – except undying love.
.
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