Monday, June 5, 2023

till death do you part

 

The last line in most traditional wedding vows is the phrase shown in the title.

It’s an optimistic phrase, since not many marriages last until one of the partners dies. Over the last couple of years both the marriage rate and the divorce rate have been declining in the United States. As of 2009, the average length of a first marriage in the U.S. was eight years. The average age men were at when they went through their first divorce was 32, for women this was 30. The average length of a second marriage was about 10 years.

Divorce rates vary by state, of course.

Political affiliation has some bearing on the divorce rate, since 9 of the 10 states with the highest divorce rate are “red” states. However, there is an even split between “red” and “blue” when it comes to the lowest divorce rate, and Maine is on the top of the list, with a divorce rate of only 4.8%.

 

https://www.usnews.com/news/best-states/articles/states-with-the-highest-divorce-rates

 

As we all get older, it become more likely that death causes the end of the marriage. Both my parents and my in-laws managed to make it to 48 years, but there weren’t any more anniversaries after that.

 

The longer we stay married, the more we start to resemble our partners, and our views on a variety of topics tend to be similar. Another fact that I have noticed is that it is not at all unusual for a partner to die a short time after the death of their partner, often within a year. There have even been cases where they have died of natural causes on the same day.

You won’t be able to find any statistics on this, but I would call it “death by broken heart”, and can list one of my relatives as an example of this.

 

My uncle Bernard (who we called Bud), was born on November 3, 1928. He was delivered by a midwife in the farm of a relative, and he was the youngest of the six children of Martin and Amelia Stenson.

When Bud was 27 years old, he met Lois Pribnow, who lived on a nearby farm They met at the Prom Ballroom in St. Paul, and started dating soon afterward. In 1957, they eloped, and got married at the Brown Church in the Vale in Iowa. After their marriage, they rented for a few years, and bought their first (and only house) in St. Paul in 1961, where they lived for the next 40 years.




Soon after that, Bud started to have health problems. He suffered his first heart attack in 1961, when he was only 33 years old. By 1972, he had 4 more. Eventually, he had open heart surgery and five bypasses. In 1993, he had his second pacemaker put in. Through it all, the love and support of his beloved “Loie” help him get through the hard times.

Due to his various health issues, Bud never really had a long-term permanent job, but made money from his natural talent for remodeling and fixing things. Lois, on the other hand, worked for many years at the Burlington Northern railroad in downtown St. Paul. Because she did not have a license, he would drive her to work every day, and pick her up at the end of her shift. At some point in time, she thought it would be prudent for her to get her license in the event that Bud had more issues with her heart.

In March of 2001, Lois died from rheumatoid arthritis. She was 68 years old. Roughly a year later, Bud jointed his beloved Lois in heaven.

Medically speaking, it would be safe to say that Bud died from heart failure, and that’s certainly true. However, it would be far more accurate to say that he died of a broken heart. 

They were fortunate to celebrate more than 40 years together – but nothing lasts forever – except undying love.

 

.

 


Sunday, June 4, 2023

a little advice about time shares

 


 

We bought our first time share sometime in the late 1980’s from RCI, after taking advantage of a free stay at a resort in French Lick, Indiana. We later made a return trip to the same resort a few years later with my wife’s sister and her husband. At the time, RCI sold red, white, and blue weeks, which essentially created the “pecking order for how you could book your vacation. We bought the cheapest version, the blue week. Although it allowed fewer choices about resort availability, we did manage to enjoy some nice vacations that we would not have been able to get to otherwise. Two that I remember were Helen, Georgia and Manassas, Virginia.

1997 was the year of our 25th anniversary, and we were able to book a stay in Myrtle Beach, Virginia. While there, we bought ANOTHER time share from Wyndham, which owned the resort that we had booked. The difference between RCI and Wyndham was that Wyndham sold points rather than colored weeks.

When you buy a timeshare, you put down a down payment, and pay monthly maintenance fees after that. Eventually, Wyndham purchased RCI, and the very last vacation we took (in Sedona last year) was arranged through RCI. Ironically, it was compensation for the fact that our Wyndham vacation at Oceanside, California was cancelled due to COVID, and the year before it was cancelled because the resort resurfaced the pool and the hot tubs just before our vacation was going to start.

The last vacation that we used our Wyndham ownership for was in Tucson, when we stayed at a resort short drive from our home in December of 2021. That stay convinced us that it was time to get rid of our timeshare. (Our RCI membership had gone away at some point when other expenses meant that we could no longer afford the monthly maintenance fees.)

 We are all familiar with the horror stories of timeshare exit companies, so I did some research in order to find one that was reputable. This was AFTER I contacted Wyndham and offered to sell our time share back to them.

I never got a response.

Ironically, the time share exit company actually helped us get out of our timeshare for FREE, even though they shot themselves in the foot in doing so.

My attempt to sell the timeshare to Wyndham was an effort to recover some of the original $10,000 purchase price from 1997.

I won’t tell you the name of the time share exit company, but I WILL tell you two critical mistakes they made:

1)    They reminded us that time shares have nearly zero value.  The link below will take you to eBay listings for timeshares for sale. You could purchase our time share in Myrtle Beach for $2, and a timeshare in Maui could be had for $584 – as long as you were willing to pay the maintenance fees.

 

https://www.ebay.com/b/Timeshares-for-Sale/15897/bn_1858924

 

2)   All time share exit companies charge a fee to kill your timeshare. A few comments made by the timeshare exit company made me suspicious, so I decided not to use them. At one point, the representative said “fine, now you are going to be stuck with Wyndham’s exit program.”

At that point, I contacted Wyndham directly, and discovered that they have a program called the Certified Exit program. Using the program, we were able to terminate all of our future fees FOR NO CHARGE, and all charges ended last October. We did not get any money for our timeshare, but I no longer have to pay $87.80 a month for the maintenance fees.

 I was an Economics major in college, and I was a financial advisor for 5 years when I worked for MetLife, so I know a few things about finance.

 Just as there are MANY time share exit companies, there are also plenty or people who are financial advisors.

One of those is Dave Ramsey.




I know a few people who use his advice, but after listening to him once for a few minutes, I realized that he was little more than a snake oil salesman, and my opinion was based, in part, because he sounds a lot like Rush Limbaugh.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/money/companies/dave-ramsey-promoted-a-timeshare-quick-fix-his-listeners-called-fraud/ar-AA1c5q5r

For years, radio host Dave Ramsey told listeners how to get out of timeshares — which he says they shouldn’t have signed up for in the first place. The evangelical Christian financial guru repeatedly told his millions of followers to use a timeshare-exit company.

“I never could find anything until I found this company called Timeshare Exit Team about three years ago,” he said in a December 2018 segment. “We started endorsing them, and I’ve had so much fun” bothering timeshare companies, he said.

Now, 17 of the podcast and radio host’s listeners have filed a $150 million lawsuit against him, alleging that he played a role in defrauding them of millions of dollars when he promoted a timeshare-exit company that did not get them out of their contracts.

Ramsey was allegedly paid as much as $30 million from 2015 to 2021 to endorse Timeshare Exit Team, which collected $200 million from clients — many of whom were his listeners. Reed Hein & Associates, a Washington state-based company that was under the name Timeshare Exit Team at the time, received $70 million in fees from Ramsey’s customers, the lawsuit claims. Reed Hein & Associates went out of business after settling with Washington state for more than $2.6 million in a lawsuit over allegedly deceptive business practices.

The lawsuit from 17 listeners in Washington state and California, which was filed April 28 in U.S. District Court for the Western District of Washington, is seeking $150 million in damages. The Ramsey listeners said the host engaged in negligent misrepresentation, unjust enrichment and violation of consumer protection laws when he promoted the company that cost his listeners while he profited from their financial heartache. The lawsuit also names his company, the Lampo Group, which is now known as Ramsey Solutions, and marketing company Happy Hour Media Group as defendants.

The plaintiffs’ lawyer, Greg Albert, questioned many of Timeshare Exit Team’s alleged claims to customers in a statement to The Washington Post.

A review of the link above also lists some of the other questionable acts of Ramsey, including the time that he told his listeners to “pray away” COVID 19.

Like everything else, the purchase price of a timeshare has risen over the years. The timeshare that we bought in 1997 would cost more than $50,000, and you would still have to pay monthly maintenance fees.

Truthfully, I don’t regret the purchase we made in 1997, since it allowed us to enjoy some great vacations that we would not have had otherwise, and it even made it possible for my sister to spend a week in Hawaii for no cost (other than airfare). However, now that we are older, and Sharon needs a walker to move around, timeshare ownership no longer made sense for us – so we pulled the plug.

One final word of advice.

If you want good financial advice, don’t listen to Dave Ramsey.

 

 

 

 

 


Saturday, June 3, 2023

the third of June

 


 

"Ode to Billie Joe" is a song by American singer-songwriter Bobbie Gentry released by Capitol Records in July 1967, and later used as the title-track of her debut album. Five weeks after its release, the song topped Billboard's Pop singles chart. It also appeared in the top 10 of the Adult Contemporary and Hot R&B singles charts, and in the top 20 of the Hot Country Songs list.

The song takes the form of a first-person narrative performed over sparse acoustic guitar accompaniment with strings in the background. It tells of a rural Mississippi family's reaction to the news of the suicide of Billie Joe McAllister, a local boy to whom the daughter (and narrator) is connected. The song received widespread attention, leaving its audience intrigued as to what the narrator and Billie Joe threw off the Tallahatchie Bridge. Gentry later clarified that she intended the song to portray the family's indifference to the suicide in what she deemed "a study in unconscious cruelty," while she remarked the object thrown was not relevant to the message.

"Ode to Billie Joe" was nominated for eight Grammy Awards; Gentry and arranger Jimmie Haskell won three between them. Gentry's writing was adapted for the 1976 film Ode to Billy Joe. The song appeared on Rolling Stone's lists, 500 Greatest Songs of All Time and Greatest Country Songs, while Pitchfork featured it on their 200 Best Songs of the 1960s list. In 2023, the song was selected by the Library of Congress for preservation in the National Recording Registry.

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ode_to_Billie_Joe_(song)

 

When the song was released, Bobbie Gentry was only 25 years old.

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bobbie_Gentry

 

Gentry was born Roberta Lee Streeter on July 27, 1942, near Woodland in Chickasaw County, Mississippi, to Ruby Lee (née Shipman; November 28, 1920 – April 2, 1989) and Robert Harrison Streeter. After her parents divorced shortly after her birth, her mother moved to California, leaving Gentry to be raised on a farm by her paternal grandparents. She grew up without electricity or plumbing. Her grandmother traded one of the family's milk cows for a neighbor's piano, and, at age seven, Gentry composed her first song, "My Dog Sergeant Is a Good Dog." Gentry lived in Greenwood, Mississippi, with her father for a few years and learned to play the guitar and banjo.

 





Apart from the fact that she grew up poor, what’s interesting about Gentry is that she was one of the first female artists to compose and produce her own material.

Here are the opening lyrics to the song:

It was the third of June, another sleepy, dusty Delta day

I was out choppin' cotton, and my brother was balin' hay

And at dinner time we stopped and walked back to the house to eat

And mama hollered out the back door, y'all, remember to wipe your feet

And then she said, I got some news this mornin' from Choctaw Ridge

Today, Billy Joe MacAllister jumped off the Tallahatchie Bridge

 

And papa said to mama, as he passed around the blackeyed peas

Well, Billy Joe never had a lick of sense; pass the biscuits, please

There's five more acres in the lower forty I've got to plow

And mama said it was shame about Billy Joe, anyhow

Seems like nothin' ever comes to no good up on Choctaw Ridge

And now Billy Joe MacAllister's jumped off the Tallahatchie Bridge

 

If you want to hear the song again, here it is:

 

Bobby Gentry - Ode to BillyJoe - YouTube

 

Bobby Gentry was a commercial success, but she was not as fortunate in her romantic relationships. She was married a total of three times, and none of the marriages lasted more than a couple of years.

 

Her first marriage was to casino owner Bill Harrah, who was married a total of 7 times. Gentry was his third wife.         His last 4 marriages were all short lived.

 

Harrah had an extensive collection of cars. Many of his cars enjoyed 'best' or 'one-of-a kind' status. Some notable items of his collection were the two Bugatti Type 41s, a Phantom Corsair, two Ferraris and a pair of Jerrari Wagoneers. In 1966 his Bugatti Type 41 Coupe de Ville won Best of Show at Pebble Beach.

After Bill Harrah's death, Holiday Inn acquired Harrah's, including the car collection. The bulk of the collection was sold at several auctions between 1984-1986, garnering more than $100 million. An outcry by the people of Reno and Sparks led to Holiday Inn donating 175 vehicles to establish the William F. Harrah Automobile Museum in downtown RenoNevada. Some of the cars were donated to form the Imperial Palace Auto Collection in Las Vegas.

He won Best of Show at the prestigious Pebble Beach Concours d'Elegance 4 times in 1963, 1964, 1966, and 1976

 After her third divorce (in 1980), Gentry never remarried.

 The last time Gentry appeared in public was when she attended the Academy of Country Music Awards on April 30, 1982. Since that time, she has not recorded, performed or been interviewed. One 2016 news report stated that Gentry lives in a gated community near Memphis, Tennessee. According to another, Gentry lives in a gated community in Los Angeles

 She’ll be 81 years old in July, which means that she has been able to live a comfortable life in retirement for more than 40 years. That’s a lot easier, of course, if your net worth is $100 million dollars.

 Bobbie demanded 10% of the profits generated by the movie based on her life, "Ode to Billie Joe". She also demanded 15% of future royalties generated by TV syndication and other sales. To date these profits alone have totaled more than $50 million. She was one of the original owners of the NBA's Phoenix suns, owns tens of millions of dollars’ worth of real estate (mainly in California) and earned more than $3 million in royalties when Reb McEntire covered her song Fancy.

 I have often said that tough times don’t last, but tough people do. You may remember that Bobbie Gentry grew up in a home with no electricity or indoor plumbing, further proof that life is full of surprises.

 

 

 

 


Monday, May 29, 2023

my name is on the wall





In 1970, I completed my basic training at Ft. Bragg, North Carolina. After that, I received advanced training at Ft. Eustis, Virginia, where I was trained to be a helicopter repairman (my MOS was 67N20)

(Since Ft. Bragg was named after a Confederate General, it was recently renamed Fort Liberty. Fort Eustis was named after Abraham Eustis, whose Army career ended more than a decade before the start of the Civil War).

Because Ft. Eustis is fairly close to Washington, D.C, I was able to travel there a couple of times when I was still in the Army. Mt last trip there was in the early 1980’s, when we took an excursion bus to the city from our vacation condo in Manassas, Virginia.

On that last trip, we saw Arlington cemetery, Ford theatre, the Smithsonian Institute, the Air and Space Museum, and the Koran War memorial.

We also saw the Vietnam Veterans Memorial wall

 https://virtualwall.org/

One of the names on the wall is Donald J. Lundequam, who was my cousin.

https://virtualwall.org/dl/LundequamDJ01a.htm

Donnie was a Huey pilot, and he was shot down on June 5, 1970 after being “in country” for about 90 days. On June 5, I was in basic training at Ft. Bragg, so his death hit pretty hard.

Ironically, his mother was my father’s youngest sister. Dad’s oldest sister also lost a son, when Edward Bloomstrand perished on Iwo Jima.

My old neighbor, Larry Kusilek also died there, as did a classmate named Patrick Mercier.

There’s another name on the wall that you’ll also recognize.

Thomas Brennan

https://virtualwall.org/db/BrennanTJ01a.htm

Thomas J. Brennan was born 12 days before I was, and he died in June of 1968, just after I finished my junior year in college. Although he was not a combat victim, his body was recovered after being declared missing in action. Like me, he was trained as a helicopter repairman.

The United Stats has been involved in dozens of wars and military actions since 1775. The Civil War was the costliest, when there were over 600,000 military deaths. WWII was next, with slightly more than 400,000 military deaths. Vietnam is ranked #4, with 58, 209 military deaths. Both the Gulf War and the Iraq war was modest in terms of military deaths, but very expensive in terms of dollars cost.

Both the Vietnam War and the Gulf War were started under false pretenses, but that does not diminish the bravery of the men (and women) who fought in those wars.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_military_casualties_of_war

The last time I renewed my license, I had it modified to show that I was a military veteran, even though my time in the service was 6 years in the Army National Guard. That status gets my a 10% discount at Loew’s , and it also saved me $500 when I bought my new Hyundai in 2017.

Both my dad and my father-in-law served during WWII, and both are buried at Ft. Snelling in St. Paul. Minnesota. Although I HAVE been to their graves s few times when we lived in Minnesota, Illinois, and Wisconsin, living in Arizona makes any further trips there impractical.

 Many of the people whose names are on the Vietnam wall were people who were in their 20’s when they died. If they were still alive today, they would be roughly my age, a fact that was brought home by a recent editorial cartoon in the Washington Post.

 You’re free to enjoy the Memorial Day holiday any way that you want to, but if you get a chance, be sure to do that one thing that really matters.

Thank a vet.

 


 

 

 


Saturday, May 20, 2023

modern day vigilantes

 


There are so many problems in America today that you might come to the conclusion that the age of vigilantes is a thing of the past. If that is your thought, you would be wrong.

 

Arguably, vigilante justice started to expand during the Reconstruction period, which led to the formation of the Ku Klux Klan in 1865. After the passage of the Ku Klux Klan Act in 1871, the organization saw a decline in membership.

In the early years of the 20th century, the Klan saw a resurgence, and membership in the Klan reached its peak in the 1920’s.

The Great Depression led to another decline in membership, but the Civil Rights era of the 1960’s caused membership to grow again, but far less than the glory years of the 1920’s.

As the article below explains, Klan membership may be smaller than it once was, but it has now been replaced by something called Christian nationalism.

https://tohell-andback.blogspot.com/2023/04/the-klan-is-back.html

One of the key elements of the KKK was lynching, which peaked in the 1920’s. However, lynching existed before that time, and one of its victims was Joseph Smith, the founder of the Mormon religion, who was hanged in 1844.

Between 1900 to 1931, there were 1595 lynchings of African Americans in America. Although the first bill to ban lynching was introduced in 1918, it was not until 2022 that congress finally passed a bill to make it illegal.

https://tohell-andback.blogspot.com/2014/01/

The Senate unanimously passed a bill in March that criminalizes lynching and made  it punishable by up to 30 years in prison. It sailed through the House of Representatives, and President Biden signed it.

While it eased through both chambers of Congress this time with virtually no opposition, the path to passage took more than 100 years and 200 failed attempts.

Under the bill, named the Emmett Till Anti-Lynching Act after the 14-year-old boy from Chicago who was lynched while visiting family in Mississippi, a crime can be prosecuted as a lynching when a hate crime results in a death or injury, said Rep. Bobby Rush, D-Ill., a longtime sponsor of the legislation.

 "Lynching is a longstanding and uniquely American weapon of racial terror that has for decades been used to maintain the white hierarchy," Rush said in a statement Monday evening. "Unanimous Senate passage of the Emmett Till Anti-Lynching Act sends a clear and emphatic message that our nation will no longer ignore this shameful chapter of our history and that the full force of the U.S. federal government will always be brought to bear against those who commit this heinous act.

https://www.npr.org/2022/03/08/1085094040/senate-passes-anti-lynching-bill-and-sends-federal-hate-crimes-legislation-to-bi

Lynching was not confined to the south. The passage of the Homestead Act of 1862 opened up thousands of acres in the west that quickly led to a surge of farms in areas that had previously had not been fenced. This quickly became a source of conflict with cattle ranchers, who were accustomed to free access to the land.

Not all of the victims of lynching were guilty, as exemplified by a book titled “The Ox-bow incident”, which was published in 1940, and made into a movie (starring Henry Fonda) in 1943.

https://tohell-andback.blogspot.com/2013/08/the-ox-bow-incident.html

 

Although it’s tempting to say that vigilante justice is a bi-partisan issue, that it no longer the case, as explained by Jamelle Bouie in a recent New York Times article.

 https://www.nytimes.com/2023/05/16/opinion/neely-penny-perry-rittenhouse-desantis.html?searchResultPosition=1

It’s been nearly three years since the riots and subsequent shooting in Kenosha, Wis., where a gunman — Kyle Rittenhouse, a 17-year-old from nearby Antioch, Ill. — killed two protesters in what a court eventually determined was self-defense.

Among the most troubling aspects of the shooting was the almost jubilant reaction of conservative media to the news that someone had taken the law into his own hands and meted out lethal force. Tucker Carlson praised Rittenhouse as someone who decided “to maintain order when no one else would.” Ann Coulter said she wanted Rittenhouse “as my president.” Marjorie Taylor Greene, then a candidate, called him an “innocent child,” and Representative Thomas Massie of Kentucky praised Rittenhouse for his “incredible restraint.”

Rittenhouse went on, after his acquittal, to become a minor conservative celebrity. He met with Donald Trump at Mar-a-Lago, got a standing ovation at a Turning Point USA conference and earned the praise of the governor of Florida, Ron DeSantis, who said, “Kyle Rittenhouse did what we should want citizens to do in such a situation: step forward to defend the community against mob violence.”

George Zimmerman achieved hero status in 2012, when he killed an unarmed black teenager named Trayvon Martin. Subsequently, Martin’s family successfully sued the homeowner’s association where George Zimmerman worked as a neighborhood watch employee.

The New York City subways made the news in 1984 when Bernhard Goetz shot 4 unarmed black teenagers, and they did it again this past week.

A former US Marine who placed a passenger in a fatal chokehold on the New York subway has appeared in court to be charged with manslaughter.

Daniel Penny, 24, is accused of causing the death of 30-year-old Jordan Neely on 1 May. He did not enter a plea.

 

His lawyers said he could not have known his actions to subdue Mr. Neely would lead to his death.

 

Mr. Neely, who was homeless, was pinned to the ground and restrained for several minutes on the train carriage.

 

He had been shouting at other passengers and asking for money, witnesses said.

Mr. Neely was later found unconscious in the carriage and taken to hospital where he was pronounced dead. His death resulted from compression of the neck, the city's medical examiner ruled.

 

Hands cuffed behind his back, Mr. Penny appeared at Manhattan Criminal Court on Friday to be formally charged and was later released on $100,000 in cash bail.

He must return to court on 17 July or a warrant will be issued for his arrest, the judge said. He must also turn over his passport and seek permission to cross state lines.

 

On the day Mr. Neely died, Mr. Penny was questioned by police and then released.

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-65573879

This incident was eerily similar to the killing of George Floyd in Minneapolis, who died because officer Chauvin knelt on his neck for more than 9 minutes.

Although the actions of Jordan Neely were disturbing, causing his death was not the appropriate response. Sadly, it didn’t take long before Mr. Penny became a celebrity, and his defense fund has already swelled to $2.5 million.

In a polarized America, Daniel Penny becomes a right-wing cause as defense fund tops $2.5M (msn.com)

All of watch in horror on January 6, 2021, as a mob of Trump supporters stormed the United States capitol and some of them were shouting “hang Mike Pence”.

 




To date, more than 900 people have been charged with crimes related to the events of January 6 – and more will follow. You can call it an “insurrection” (because it was), but the more accurate description would be that it is the largest vigilante gathering in this country’s history – and it can never be allowed to happen again.