Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
The other option, of course, is simply to make plans well in advance of your departure.
Years ago, I worked with a woman who had set up a trust with her husband. Both had been married before, and had multiple children, so tying up the loose ends was important to them.
A few years later, their foresight was rewarded when her husband passed away suddenly. At the time of his death, he was in his early 60's.
Even before that happened, Sharon and I set up trusts of our own, and it came about in 1997, more than 25 years ago.
In addition to the trust, I also typed up a letter titled "what to do if I get run over by a beer truck", and I put it in the folder that has my life insurance information.
What NOT to do was what one of my relatives did. To protect her privacy, I will simply call her Mississippi.
She was born in the early years of the 20th century. Like her siblings, Mississippi lived through the Depression, which forced her to save money.
She never married, and worked until she was in her 80's, because she was terrified of running out of money.
She also did not trust the stock market because she was alive in October of 1929, so the majority of her money was in passbook savings. At the time of her death, she had $400,000 saved, even though she had purchased savings bonds for her nieces and nephews over the years.
When she died, she was intestate, which meant that she died without a will. Her estate eventually was settled, but it was in probate, a process that is long and costly.
Years ago, Sharon and I had decided that we have absolutely no interest in having a "traditional " funeral. Instead, we have settle on cremation, which I have written about a few times before:
When I lived in China, I learned that many Chinese people do not like to discuss death, in part because the words for "4: and "death" are similar. For that reason, many buildings in China do not have a 4th floor.
Oddly enough, though, there IS something called "tomb sweeping day", and it is a national holiday called Qingming.
Qingming Festival is when Chinese people traditionally visit ancestral tombs to sweep them. This tradition has been legislated by the Emperors who built majestic imperial tombstones for every dynasty. For thousands of years, the Chinese imperials, nobility, peasantry, and merchants alike have gathered together to remember the lives of the departed, to visit their tombstones to perform Confucian filial piety by tomb sweeping, to visit burial grounds, graveyards or in modern urban cities, the city columbaria, to perform groundskeeping and maintenance and to commit to pray for their ancestors in the uniquely Chinese concept of the afterlife and to offer remembrances of their ancestors to living blood relatives, their kith and kin. In some places, people believe that sweeping the tomb is only allowed during this festival, as they believe the dead will get disturbed if the sweeping is done on other days.
The young and old alike kneel to offer prayers before tombstones of the ancestors, offer the burning of joss in both the forms of incense sticks (joss-sticks) and silver-leafed paper (joss paper), sweep the tombs and offer food in memory of the ancestors. Depending on the religion of the observers, some pray to a higher deity to honor their ancestors, while others may pray directly to the ancestral spirits.
People who live far away and can't travel to their ancestors' tombs may make a sacrifice from a distance
Mitch Albom also wrote a novel titled "The Little Liar", which mentioned that Jewish people in parts of the world also clean tombstones of their departed relatives.
Hispanics celebrate "dia de los mortes", which I have also written about:
Mitch had the good fortune to take with his mentor in his mentors final days, so here is an interesting question:
How would you like to hear the voice of a deceased relative after they are gone?
Not surprisingly, you can.
When my parents were in their 80's, my sister interviewed them, and put the interviews on a cassette type. Over time, my copy disappeared, but she still has her copy buried someplace in her garage - but I would love to hear them again.
Also surprising is the fact that there IS life after death.
Most traditional religions believe in an afterlife - bur that is not what I am talking about.
I'm talking about "near death experiences", and the links below to into more detail:
Near death experiences are, almost by definition, short-lived, but reincarceration can last a life time or two.
For more information, refer to "I'm coming back as a cat" at the link above.
Your final decisions on your end of life choices are up to you, but exploring your options is simply a prudent thing to do.
